whiskey

~

he would pour himself into a shot glass

and

drink his soul away ~

away from those he loved dearly

and

the world around him

~ everyday ~

~

he would bathe his spirit in a slow, slow burn ~

allowing the heat to dissolve his pain.

he did not care to live his life ~

only

to drown himself in shame.

~

there was nothing we could have done,

except stand by him

and

reluctantly watch

ζ

and

ζ

love a man with a spirit

so broken,

so conflicted

and

so despondently

lost

~

~

a decade passed

∫

ten birthdays,

two bar mitzvahs,

first jobs

&

concerts.

∫

sports and art expos,

a high school graduation,

driving a car

&

one off to college.

∫

dreams so desperately wished upon

have passed without her here ~ ~ ~

and

though i see her in their eyes

and

feel her in my heart,

the sadness of missing my mother will never fade

or

truly

ever

depart.

∫

enwrapped

¤

as

the sound of holiday cheer

begins to wield its tune,

i can feel myself enwrapped

in

a blustering cold blanket

of

~ blue ~

the return of too many memories

of those

i love

 ~ no longer here ~

and

the loneliness which taunts my heart

and

drowns my soul

in

tears

¤

¤

¤

lamentations

:

:

i know he has to go

but

knowing does not make it any less painful.

:

:

it is not a ‘forever‘ goodbye,

it is a ‘i’ll see ya later‘ goodbye.

however,

inside

it is a ‘i will miss you so, so, so very much‘ goodbye

and

‘i cannot wait for you to come back home‘ goodbye

:

:

 

words4jp from your mom

♥

♥

you may be

a young man

on the cusp of being an adult,

but

in my heart,

you will

  always

be

the baby

i held in my arms

♥

♥

♥

not much has really changed…he still cooks

♥

somethings never change…he still surrounds himself with bunches of magazines, newspapers, books…lots of stuff…

♥

Happy Day to Our Special Guys…

•

To the special men in our lives who may not have contributed to our gene pool ∼

who are just as important to our lives

and

have given of themselves in ways

only a very special person ∼

a special heart

can

and

ever

will

we love you

&

always,

always

will

∼

thinking…..thinking…..

•

snoozing on daddy’s foot

•

10 years ago…so hard to believe….

letting go….

……..

….

it can wrench one’s heart

destroy a person’s body

give life to writing

rebuild a shattered spirit

can free a tormented mind

….

……..

 

the fear and thrill of letting go….

the movies in my mind

∞

scenes of life keep passing by

as

hours upon hours come and go

∞

people, places and stories may change

but

an audience of one… faithfully remains

∞

∞

a scene in Seattle
Bill, Jordan, Mom
Spring Break 2008

my three boys
Spring Break 2006

a funny scene
classic Bill
one of many

∞

holding onto mom

∞

∞

she

held me

once upon

many years passed

i still miss my mom

∞

∞

∞

my mom

2/23/1944 – 12/11/2004

skype’ing my pnut

ξ

looking from afar

a glimpse of who i was – once

i am mesmerized

ξ

ξ

ξ

2008 – ‘homemade’ costume for history project
Charles Lindberg