to let go

*

i need to purge these feelings

deep down inside ~

and

until i do,

they will eat me alive.

*

*

a lesson learned

∞

i fear my heart has closed the door

and

thrown away the key…

i can no longer allow

anyone

to come

anywhere

close

to

me.

∞

one could say

i have always been rather transparent

and

open to a fault

but

ever since the day my heart was gouged,

i have kept the remaining scraps

locked away in a vault.

∞

i learned a lesson the day he turned away,

a lesson i will never forget…

there are places deep within oneself

best left untouched –

locked away –

until

one’s

death.

∞

∞

i thought i had learned this lesson the last time.  i was wrong.  never, ever again.  i cannot – i will not break anymore.

∞

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enwrapped

¤

as

the sound of holiday cheer

begins to wield its tune,

i can feel myself enwrapped

in

a blustering cold blanket

of

~ blue ~

the return of too many memories

of those

i love

 ~ no longer here ~

and

the loneliness which taunts my heart

and

drowns my soul

in

tears

¤

¤

¤

lesson learned at a soccer game…

…

NEVER

wear

a floppy hat

while

walking

under stadium bleachers,

looking

at the ground

and

dreaming

and

thinking

of

~

~ words ~

~

to

write

…

BANG!

…

the hat, the klutz and the ding brain

…

 

 

 

why?

~

why?

~

why do we have to die?

family, friends, pets – why?

~

why does death have to be a part of life?

~

the pain, the sadness, the tears – why?

~

why do those we love have to go away?

~

why can’t they stay for one more day?

~

one more day so we can say all that we need to say ~

~

one last time ~

~

a last “i am sorry”

a last “i thank you”

a last “i will miss you”

a last “i love you”

~

the last “goodbye”

~

why?

~

please tell me why?

~

to breathe

*

if i had the wings of an eagle

i would soar across the sky ~ ~ ~

flying as fast as i could

~ never stopping ~

until i land at your feet.

 *

i would hold you close,

never let go,

dry your tears with rainbow kisses ~

then

lift you up,

whisk you far away

where only our lives

and

dreams

can

breathe

*

 ~ an eagle in the sky ~

*

*

judgement

⁄

⁄

feelings sliced across my flesh

leaving regret for my eyes to see

revealing a picture for others

to judge and condemn

⁄

a dark but beautiful sky

⁄

the emotional bit

♦

it is

a tiny piece

of a bigger whole

but

it is

the largest piece

of this distorted soul

~

a piece which fuels

this soul to live,

is a piece

i wish

would not exist

♦

♦

♦

 

 

the cost of

ξ

it should cost nothing

but

can take everything

which

can lead to nothing

ξ

such a cruel twist of fate ~

don’t you think?

~

because

~

what should cost nothing

can mean everything

ξ

~ none but the lonely heart ~

•

a lonely heart

can feel the arms of sadness

and

tears of pain

•

a lonely heart

can feel the breath of fear

and

the kiss of death

•

a lonely heart

can choose

to feel nothing

or

a lonely heart

can to choose to feel something…

…

I ask the question ~ why ~

why

cannot

my lonely heart

choose to feel

with

a promise of salvation?

•

•

inspired by Tchaikovsky and a lonely heart

•

•

Six Romances Op. 6  6th Movement

‘None But The Lonely Heart”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PtIHBCuR-Q

•