Posts tagged ‘mental-health’
the seamstress
~
this fabric is worn ~
faded and frayed.
some stitches are missing ~
seams unraveling away.
i have plenty of needles
and
thread for repair,
rhinestones
and
sequins
to add an elegant flair
~ but ~
can i make something so weary
look desirable and new?
or
should i stash it
forever ~
away from
everyone’s
view?
~
~
~
crawling ~ ~ ~
*
each step into daylight
seems to
travel further into the dark… always uncertain of my course.
*
i look for a beam of light
or
a glowing ember…. something to grab hold
for guidance,
for stability
yet
i know light cannot be harnessed ~
it cannot be held in one’s hands
so,
i drop to my knees and crawl my way forward.
*
blind ~ i may be
and
stable ~ one could disagree
but
mobile ~ i can be ~ moving forward the best i can ~ ~ ~
*
*
*
some contrast…
~
some
would say
i wear my darkness well
~ too well ~
in fact…
this may very well be true
but
without
‘some’
darkness for contrast ~
how will one ever see
my light shine through?
~
~
to let go
*
i need to purge these feelings
deep down inside ~
and
until i do,
they will eat me alive.
*
*
look, listen, feel
•
i look in the mirror
for
someone
i cannot see.
•
i listen
for
a voice
i cannot hear.
•
i search
for
a heart
i cannot feel.
•
i am reaching
for
the person
i used to be
~ but ~
she is nowhere to be found.
•
•
time ~ life ~ time.
~
i hate time.
it walks too slow
when i want it to run fast.
it runs too fast
when i want it to walk slow.
~
here in lies the conundrum…
time is life.
life is time.
what am i saying?
~
i hate my life?
~
amazing
§
it is truly amazing how one soul can save another
with
only a few words
and
a caring heart ~
breathing life
into
a world which had fallen behind ~ ~
an existence
with no desire to move forward
or
wishing
simply
~ only ~
to
die.
§
§
a kaleidoscope
~
there is a cacophony of feelings
~
ever-present
always changing
never quiet
never still
~
this
emotion
which dominates my troubled mind
~
a constant force driving every color
at every turn
of this
kaleidoscope
~
~
~
i wait for the day
when i can decimate the lens
and
see
nothing
~
only
peace
~
~
the other
ˆ
it can take
one action,
a feeling
or
a thought ~
to trigger the other
from rising up through the depths ~
choking my mind,
leave me gasping
for light
and
wanting
to
disappear
ˆ
ˆ
lack thereof…
***
i am finding my heart no longer beats as it should ~
it lacks courage and feelings of desire
*
where dreams once thrived in abundance
now
only a void
~ sits and waits ~
to swallow me whole.
*
i am not completely beyond reproach ~
i am not ready to throw in the towel ~
i just keep trying
to ignite
some sort of something
and
come up with nothing
to compel me
inside
***
***