an autobiography

ϒ

many pairs of shoes

each a different story

chapters of a book

penned with hours of sweat and blood

a once upon a time life

ϒ

opening nights, first tour, debuts, special events – just a few

ϒ

an ode to an editing beard

ς

ς

my son –

what is it?

what is it i see?

˜

oh mom –

it is my editing beard

my editing beard you see

˜

my son –

tell me why?

tell me how it came to be?

˜

oh mom –

i am so busy

i haven’t shaved in two weeks

˜

my son –

what have you been doing?

what has kept you so very busy?

˜

oh mom –

it is all the filming and editing

it has become life itself – it is my movie!

˜

my son –

i am so proud,

so very proud to be…

the mom of a man with an editing beard

the editing beard i see!

ς

one side of the beard

other side of the beard

≡

voila!

ς

Yep, that’s my boy!

nine years ago…

March 6th, 2005

the day she came home

♥

♥

face on a website

a precious discovery

love at first snuggle

mommy, daddy and brothers

a family’s new beginning

♥

♥

supervising mommy
while she cooks for the boys – 3/5/14

♥

My Nutcracker Story

*

once upon a time,

there lived a little girl

whose dream was to be in The Nutcracker –

to dance amongst the snowflakes, flowers and dolls

but

most of all to ‘live’ the role of Clara.

*

she practiced for hours and hours each day,

thought of nothing but ‘becoming the part’ –

of the sweet little girl

whose gift from her grandfather

became a prince

and

who captured her heart.

*

after two years of being a party girl and bunny,

watching Clara dance from the wings –

the day came to pass

when the cast sheet revealed

she would finally come

to realize her dream.

*

there were rehearsals in studios,

rehearsals on stage,

rehearsals with costumes and orchestra,

nights with no sleep,

big blisters on toes –

she was living in a constant state of euphoria.

*

when opening night arrived it was quite the affair,

there was a dynamic which could not be contained –

from the moment the strings played their very first notes

and

the red velvet curtain was raised.

*

the ballet began with a party and guests,

dancing and playing with toys –

until a mysterious gentleman suddenly arrived

with his enchanted dolls for all to enjoy.

*

there was a very unique doll

set aside for last,

to be given to one special girl –

the mysterious man had created a Nutcracker

for his granddaughter

to enrapture her world.

*

Clara was bewitched as she danced

and

she danced

until it was time for the party to end.

as the guests took their leave,

the house became quiet –

it was the moment to forge onward to bed.

*

BUT

Clara was restless,

unable to sleep

so she made her way down the stairs to the tree –

where her Nutcracker stood guard,

the clock struck midnight

with chimes hailing the beginning

of Clara’s magnificent dream.

*

the big stage came alive as the sets disappeared

and

the tree grew over twenty feet tall –

there were regiments of soldiers,

a mouse king with four heads

and

scurrying mice – some very big and a few small.

*

then it happened – it came – the moment of surprise

when the Nutcracker became larger than life.

he fought with his sword

and

his faithful soldiers behind him –

a battle…….with no end in sight.

*

during all of the raucous,

Clara stood on the sidelines

watching

and

thinking of what she could do,

when a thought suddenly occurred –

‘the mice king needs a distraction

why not throw something at him…

something handy…. like a …. shoe’?

*

SO

*

she held her shoe in her hand,

aimed for one of the heads

and

threw as hard as she could –

where upon the king turned away,

a sword met its mark,

ending the reign of the mouse king for good.

*

Clara stood in disbelief as the soldiers and mice

walked away leaving nothing behind

but

a man

who moments before was her Nutcracker –

now a prince leading her on a journey….

way into the night.

*

the end of act one saw the magical forest –

a snow queen and her prince…

then

a flurry of snowflakes prancing on stage

with ‘snow’ falling from an overhead scrim.

*

˜ Intermission ˜

*

act two began with a ride in a sleigh

to the land of fairies, dancing flowers and sweets

and

a story of how Clara saved the Nutcracker’s life –

broke the spell

of a doll he would no longer be.

*

after introductions were made,

the prince called upon

the kingdom to perform for his guest.

the land of sweets

came bursting alive with dancing

and

classical music at its best.

*

as Clara and her prince sat

in a gazebo on stage right,

she knew in her heart

it was more than a ‘dream’ –

the desire she felt was real…

the journey was real…

it was ‘who’

she was meant to be.

*

the young girl wanted to waltz along with the flowers,

wave a fan in black Spanish lace

and

pirouette in a tutu all around the stage

as the reed instruments in the orchestra played.

*

the last to perform was the sugar plum fairy

along with her cavalier

a pas de deux so beautiful –

so magnificent to watch

that Clara’s eyes began to well up with tears

because

Clara knew – the young girl knew –

the grande finale was about to begin,

when all the dancers performed one last time

and

bid farewell to her and the prince.

*

the end of the ballet brought curtain calls,

a red dozen roses with applause

and

stage hands taking apart the sets

and

storing away the props.

*

*

when the night finally came to an end,

the young girl laid awake in her bed –

all she could see were visions of herself

dancing in her head…

… 

waltzing along with flowers,

waving a fan in black Spanish lace

and

wearing a tutu

twirling

and

leaping

  all around the magnificent stage.

Astier de Villatte Ceramic Figurine
given to me by my mother – 1979

*

*

a brief post script: I really wanted to have this piece completed by Christmas Eve, but it was not meant to be.  I began writing this poem back in November.  It seems I kept hitting ‘mind’ blocks.  Each time I tried to revisit the piece, a haiku was born – thus my Nutcracker haiku series.  I am not certain what, but something happened while my boys were home – creative juices, maybe?  I must say this is the longest poem I have ever written.  I hope you enjoy it.

The Nutcracker Act II – The Finale

≈

The Finale

≈

≈

soaring crescendos

all the dancers on the stage

Clara bids farewell

≈

≈

This poster was issued in 1979.

The Nutcracker Act II Pas De Deux

ξ

The Sugar Plum Fairy and Her Cavalier

ξ

ξ

one

spotlight

on stage right.

they stand prepared.

he extends his arm –

she gently takes his hand

stepping onto perfect pointes.

gracefully and delicately

a majestic pas de deux unfolds…

dreams of sugar plums become her desire…..

ξ

ξ

My first year as Clara
December 1978

In 1974, the Cincinnati Ballet Company premiered The Nutcracker.  For two years, I sat in the audience – mesmerized.  In Summer of 1976, I changed ballet schools and that December I was cast as a party girl and bunny.  Many little girls and boys see more than just a ballet while sitting in the audience of a production of The Nutcracker – they discover their heart’s true desire.

my not-so-little guy

♥

once

so small –

years gone by –

my little guy

has gotten so tall.

he is still just as cute

with a twinkle in his eye

and a giggle that warms my heart.

he was once my little baby boy

NOW a sixteen year old bundle of joy!

♥

♥

Happy Birthday ‘Little Guy’!!

A very, very, very long time ago….
about one years old

post soccer season pizza party
October 2008

summer of 2013
Peyton and his ‘corn’

Terms of endearment: 

Jordan calls his brother Little Guy.

Peyton calls his brother Guy.

I call them both Pnut and a whole host of other names of which I cannot reveal or I risk being disowned.

Saturday with Syd and stuff

The three faces of Sydnee Pee

all pictures taken within a 5 minute period and presented in order

And stuff….

Hello – I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Saturday and a Happy Labor Day weekend to my fellow Americans.  Pee and I are home alone this weekend.  We have not much planned – I have begun writing the mother of all award thank you blogs.  I have the usual house cleaning and I also have lots of writing to create for my company’s website.  There will also be some biking on the trainer and running.

Jordan is away at school.  He lives in a residence hall where everyone majors in a form of mass communications.  He is the only underclassmen on his floor and shares a room with a sophomore, who is majoring in photography.  He is adapting well, sounds great but tired.  Keeping very busy, getting use to a college schedule (going to bed after midnight), likes his roommate, has made some friends and is already scheduled to start filming!  He will be working on the university’s cable news program and sports events – yes, college football!

Peyton, as you already know, has begun his sophomore year, soccer and driver’s ed.  He made the JV (junior varsity) soccer team, which for a sophomore, is quite an honor.  He is, of course, the low man on the totem pole, but he is getting his butt kicked – no pun intended – and loving every minute of it.  He is also digging the driving thing.  I am certain this was obvious by his huge smile in the picture I took of him behind the wheel for the first time.  I can tell he is missing Jordan and I can tell Jordan misses him.  Apparently, Jordan texts his lunch and dinner menu everyday.  Oy!  Speaking of food, Peyton and I are going to be co-creating a blog.  We hope to begin next weekend (we have been waiting for life to settle a bit).  We have the concept and the site. I will let you know when we are up and running….

Sydnee is forlorn.  The week after Jordan left was bad.  She did not eat, had a lot of stomach distress and slept on his bed.  When Peyton is here she lights up – when he leaves, she looks like the end of the world has arrived.  I am doing my best to keep her at ease.  She may be a dog, but she is my daughter and her brothers’ sister and she is having to adapt just like us.

I need to skidaddle, but before I do, I will leave you with some pretty cool photos taken last night at a soccer game which did not happen.  Enjoy:)

Game time – 4:30pm

sky to the south 4:35pm

sky to the west taken at 4:35pm

northern sky taken at 4:35pm

Looked like fish scales.

sky overhead taken at 4:40pm

taking Peyton to dad’s at 5pm

There were huge wind gusts, blowing leaves, breaking and falling tree branches.

driving due west at 5:10pm

Due to rush hour traffic, I inched-wormed it home, so I was able to take photographs when I was not white knuckling the steering wheel.  The wind was pushing my car sideways.

driving due west at 5:25pm

There was marble sized hail.

home at 5:45pm – FINALLY.

first drive

↔

all adjustments made

eyes wide, grip tight, nervous smile

power speaks volumes

a calming and loving voice

in a parking lot we go…

↓

 ↓

↓

the first time ever
August 24, 2013

to my son, with love…

There will come a time

when you branch out on your own,

away from this world –

the only one you have ever called home.

¤

You will be independent and free

to follow your dreams,

become the brilliant young man

I always knew you would be.

¤

At first it may be rough,

somewhat lonely and strange

but

there are many like you –

on this path to finding their way.

¤

I promise it will not take long

to carve your own little niche

but

remember

I am always here –

to give you a

mom’s encouraging pinch!

¤

Sweetheart,

there is so much

to see –

so much life

to explore –

hold on tight to your spirit

&

never, ever close the door.

Endless possibilities await,

there is no end in sight

so

spread your wings

&

fly

…

GO

let your brilliance shine!

∞

Jordan
Class of 2013

my boys
and little girl

The college freshman
and
the high school sophomore