drops

sometimes ~

…or…

~

sometimes

i stand outside of myself

wondering

what do other people see ~

do they read beneath the words i write

or

sit beside me while i dream?

~

can i be seen for the person i truly am

or

the person i want to be

or

do they only see what they choose to see

and

dismiss the isolated

parts

i strive to set free?

~

~

what purpose…for whom…why?

~

i know there is a purpose to a heart beat

yet

i struggle in knowing what it feels to be alive.

~

i seem driven to destroy ~ all that i am

for

reasons i do not know or fully comprehend.

~

am i so desperate in wanting

something ~

something i have lost all faith in believing

truly exists?

or

do i really

wish to be swallowed ~

by a

dominating darkness

which dwells

deep

within?

~

~

absolute sadness

‘

~ it can tear apart a person’s reality ~

~ break a person’s soul ~

~ destroy a person’s world ~

~ take a person’s life ~

‘

~ i have no more words to say on this subject ~

~ only tears ~

‘

‘

getting by…

…

trudging through the muck and mire each day

and

for

what

?

to make it through another day

and

tomorrow

and

the next

and

the next…

and

the next…

…

…

on the edge of man-made and nature

…

…

a note to my neighbor

.

i do not know you

and

you do not know me.

our eyes have met a couple of times

but

words have never been exchanged.

i know you are troubled –

you keep to yourself.

i understand this need,

so

i keep my distance…..

.

you live across my driveway.

i see your house every single day.

we breathe the same air

and

we hear the same birds.

when i stand in my kitchen,

your red shades always stare at me

and

the old Ford Maverick smiles,

as i leave for work each day.

.

i have been thinking, as of late,

i have not seen you in a while.

no visitors stopping by

or

a trash can on the curb.

i know you are a very private person

but

being TOO alone can be a curse.

i worry.

.

.

i did not know you

and

you did not know me

but

if life had been different,

we may have been friends.

.

please know i wish you peace.

.

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

.

going in…to get out…

.

.

.

.

running from my lunacy

delving into the depths

searching for something ∼ discernible

needing to maintain clarity

.

.

.

.

a story

•

once upon a time,

i knew her.

i knew her very well.

she lived with me.

we laughed and cried.

we played and she stayed

∼ until ∼

after a passing of time, i lost her

∼ but ∼

only to find her again.

days, weeks, months and years – all passed

∼ and ∼

in the blink of an eye

she vanished – without a trace

∼ then ∼

one day, i found her.

walking down the street.

i took her home.

i loved her and cared for her

∼ but ∼

she did not stay long.

i woke up one morning.

she was gone.

through the years,

she comes and goes.

she stays for a short while.

she stays for a long while.

i never know when…

i will see her.

i do wonder,

∼ sometimes ∼

what if

she never comes back?

why do

i find her, if only to lose her?

what if

she is gone for good?

what if

I

AM

gone

forever?

•

•

a troubled moment

ϒ

∫

unable to breathe

shaking uncontrollably

trying hard…to cope

∫

ϒ