pictures

‡

‡

pictures so perfect

desirable in all ways

dreams fulfilled by youth

nothing less is accepted

a never-ending nightmare

‡

‡

‡

 

conceal…no more

§

you look into my eyes

and

i wonder what you see.

am i the person standing in front of you

or

some other someone who sets you free?

§

please tell me who i am,

so

i can decide on what to do –

live with a lie each night of my life

or

quite simply walk away from you?

§

BUT

§

of course you will not be truthful,

because you are a coward

and

afraid –

that if the truth is revealed,

you will lose your rock:

your loyal domestic

and

risk being flayed.

§

the truth is

i WANT you to say it,

say what it is,

say what it is YOU feel –

because this life we are living is full of deceit

and

this hurt inside –

i can NO longer conceal.

∞

∞

∞

cold, rainy sunday

∞

Advertisement

always still

∞

on my mind always

a heart full of love and hope

still missing him – so

∞

∞

*

the wife

♦

an

object

where she stands

no breath or thought

a shiny jewel.

♦

on her pedestal

she may not speak

his trophy

her heart –

dead.

♦

decisions

§

the days are long,

the nights are longer,

when one is deciding their fate.

so many questions and thoughts to ponder –

sometimes it is easier to sit and wait

…

but

…

why wait for someone who will never return,

who is in love with someone else?

who no longer holds my trust –

was not true to his word

and

never cared for us but only himself?

…

the answers should be clear

staring me straight in the face –

these questions should not exist

however

the word unconditional

keeps arguing its case –

my heart is not mine

it belongs only to him.

§

the pond outside my door –
fountain has been turned off for the winter

he is…

—

no longer around

–

silent cavern far away

–

cold and lonely nights

—

quiet drive home

chains

¿

who

am i?

what is this

voice which speaks from

a sad, lonely place?

why can’t he understand

that my heart still fights to breathe –

my mind still struggles daily to

break free from chains wrapped around my soul –

binding and suffocating me to death?

¿

¿

?

tissues

•

•

•

alone…i keep searching

for something i cannot find.

whether it truly exists,

i really don’t know

but

i keep looking in hopes it will be kind.

•

is it a thing or is it a person?

can it be a feeling or an idea?

will i know what it is when i find it

or

will i be blind never knowing it was real?

•

i used to believe it helps to have a someone,

another set of eyes walking by your side –

a shoulder for leaning or a hand for holding

needed tissues for one’s tear-filled eyes.

•

but

•

i have learned that having a someone

is not all what it is talked up to be.

there is no one with enough tissues –

except the person crying

and

this would be me.

•

•

•

another autumn sunset over Lily Lake

can we?

⁄

connections broken

⁄

the jagged edge of mistrust

⁄

repairs unknown….still

⁄

but then – gone

•

his ears hear

but

do not listen

•

his eyes look

but

do not see

•

his voice talks

but

does not speak

•

he sits beside her

but

with no presence of mind

•

he kisses her lips

but

no feeling conveyed

•

then

•

one day she is gone

&

he

sees,

listens,

speaks,

and

feels

SADNESS.

•

•

•

southeastern view from my balcony