cognitive couching

the cliche states ~

“Dream big or go home.”

I disagree.

I say ~

“Even the tiniest of dreams

is

a reason to stay.”

~ inner fire ~

each burning brighter

aspiring to go farther

goals are limitless

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Wise Words on a Wednesday

¦

¦

“You have to live life on the edge
or
otherwise
risk
getting stuck in the middle.”

¦

¦

~ my wise young soul ~ Jordan ~

¦

words to a blubbering mom before getting on the train ~~~ to return to school

status update: a guy, a movie, a beard

♥

♥

left side – kinda

♥

right side

♥

left side – full

♥

Well today is the day – the film is complete and being submitted this morning and then it is placed into the hands of the faculty.   He is a very tired young man and he is swamped with work.  (After all, he is in college – a double major of, not just film, but business.)  His school year is winding down… he will be home next weekend…then he gets his wisdom teeth pulled!

I must say, I am liking the editing beard.  I told him that his face is now hairier than Pee’s!  I wonder what she will think?

♥

♥

words from “excited editing”

¤

From the words of Jordan…

Sunday, 1:30am

¤

“STARTING to wrap up a late night of editing…

¤

you may think me crazy

with this mad look in my eye,

hair all disheveled because of earphones

and

unshaven for weeks.

¤

i will admit i have these moments –

as i edit my work,

where

i spin around in my chair –

sometimes

stare into space to collect my thoughts.

¤

i may start to cry

but

they are tears of joy

for

i am finally seeing a film come together.

¤

I have a rough cut now –

of about 1/3 of my film

and

when i look at it

i get goosebumps.

¤

i will finish on monday,

after making credits

and

color corrections

but

until i am done,

it is just me

and

my computer.

¤

have a good day tomorrow

or

i suppose it’s already TODAY!”

¤

¤

a little note from the editing room

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

¤

¤

 

before the gun is fired…

*

she could hear the music fill the air

and

it’s rhythms infuse her veins.

there was a calling from deep within her psyche

aggressively grabbing

and

pulling the reins.

*

she closed her eyes,

harnessed her thoughts,

brought into focus the task at hand –

took a slow deep breath,

clenched her fists real tight

and

dug her toes deep within the sand.

*

she stood alone amongst the fold

waiting to break out

– listening –

to an inner voice speaking aloud –

affirmations drowning

her overwhelming self-doubt.

*

THEN

*

came an instant when sound ceased to exist

but

the cadence of a beating heart,

and

every ounce of hunger and fear conjoined

to fight as she waited

for

the moment of truth

to start…

*

*

*

“Life is like a race which needs to be run,

so get up off of your ass and get it done.”

– Bill McDonald

*

Ironman Wisconsin 2006

Oscar

∗

visions and dreams inspired

sweat and sleepless nights

dues must be paid

patiently he stands waiting

∗

∗

∗

the 6′ tall Oscar

∗∗

Oscar wearing one of Jordan’s favorite t-shirts.

∗∗

Currently the young man is knee-deep in film footage.  He has begun editing his film project for school.  From what I have been told, there is much to do. This is the big one – he conceived the story, wrote the script, casting, directing, lighting, sound, editing…..

I believe my future Scorsese is having a wonderful time. 

∗∗

Text updates from the set.

 

“I have to make a movie…”

♦

little man with Lego’s

dreaming his magical stories

bigger man with camera

filming his magical dreams

♦

♦

♦

A future Spielberg?

♦

back in 2008 – leaning against Barney, scouring Entertainment Weekly magazines, with his 6′ Oscar behind him

♦

2014 – using the grown up ‘stuff’

♦

when Jordan was little, he would say ” I gotta make a movie” and then run away… to his toys and Legos…

NOW

when he goes away to school, he tells his crying mom

“I have to make a movie”

♥

rumination

***

**

*

ideas abound

looking far…. in the distance

revelations shine

*

**

***

feet up
staring out of a dorm window
… thinking …

photographer – Jordan

My Nutcracker Story

*

once upon a time,

there lived a little girl

whose dream was to be in The Nutcracker –

to dance amongst the snowflakes, flowers and dolls

but

most of all to ‘live’ the role of Clara.

*

she practiced for hours and hours each day,

thought of nothing but ‘becoming the part’ –

of the sweet little girl

whose gift from her grandfather

became a prince

and

who captured her heart.

*

after two years of being a party girl and bunny,

watching Clara dance from the wings –

the day came to pass

when the cast sheet revealed

she would finally come

to realize her dream.

*

there were rehearsals in studios,

rehearsals on stage,

rehearsals with costumes and orchestra,

nights with no sleep,

big blisters on toes –

she was living in a constant state of euphoria.

*

when opening night arrived it was quite the affair,

there was a dynamic which could not be contained –

from the moment the strings played their very first notes

and

the red velvet curtain was raised.

*

the ballet began with a party and guests,

dancing and playing with toys –

until a mysterious gentleman suddenly arrived

with his enchanted dolls for all to enjoy.

*

there was a very unique doll

set aside for last,

to be given to one special girl –

the mysterious man had created a Nutcracker

for his granddaughter

to enrapture her world.

*

Clara was bewitched as she danced

and

she danced

until it was time for the party to end.

as the guests took their leave,

the house became quiet –

it was the moment to forge onward to bed.

*

BUT

Clara was restless,

unable to sleep

so she made her way down the stairs to the tree –

where her Nutcracker stood guard,

the clock struck midnight

with chimes hailing the beginning

of Clara’s magnificent dream.

*

the big stage came alive as the sets disappeared

and

the tree grew over twenty feet tall –

there were regiments of soldiers,

a mouse king with four heads

and

scurrying mice – some very big and a few small.

*

then it happened – it came – the moment of surprise

when the Nutcracker became larger than life.

he fought with his sword

and

his faithful soldiers behind him –

a battle…….with no end in sight.

*

during all of the raucous,

Clara stood on the sidelines

watching

and

thinking of what she could do,

when a thought suddenly occurred –

‘the mice king needs a distraction

why not throw something at him…

something handy…. like a …. shoe’?

*

SO

*

she held her shoe in her hand,

aimed for one of the heads

and

threw as hard as she could –

where upon the king turned away,

a sword met its mark,

ending the reign of the mouse king for good.

*

Clara stood in disbelief as the soldiers and mice

walked away leaving nothing behind

but

a man

who moments before was her Nutcracker –

now a prince leading her on a journey….

way into the night.

*

the end of act one saw the magical forest –

a snow queen and her prince…

then

a flurry of snowflakes prancing on stage

with ‘snow’ falling from an overhead scrim.

*

˜ Intermission ˜

*

act two began with a ride in a sleigh

to the land of fairies, dancing flowers and sweets

and

a story of how Clara saved the Nutcracker’s life –

broke the spell

of a doll he would no longer be.

*

after introductions were made,

the prince called upon

the kingdom to perform for his guest.

the land of sweets

came bursting alive with dancing

and

classical music at its best.

*

as Clara and her prince sat

in a gazebo on stage right,

she knew in her heart

it was more than a ‘dream’ –

the desire she felt was real…

the journey was real…

it was ‘who’

she was meant to be.

*

the young girl wanted to waltz along with the flowers,

wave a fan in black Spanish lace

and

pirouette in a tutu all around the stage

as the reed instruments in the orchestra played.

*

the last to perform was the sugar plum fairy

along with her cavalier

a pas de deux so beautiful –

so magnificent to watch

that Clara’s eyes began to well up with tears

because

Clara knew – the young girl knew –

the grande finale was about to begin,

when all the dancers performed one last time

and

bid farewell to her and the prince.

*

the end of the ballet brought curtain calls,

a red dozen roses with applause

and

stage hands taking apart the sets

and

storing away the props.

*

*

when the night finally came to an end,

the young girl laid awake in her bed –

all she could see were visions of herself

dancing in her head…

… 

waltzing along with flowers,

waving a fan in black Spanish lace

and

wearing a tutu

twirling

and

leaping

  all around the magnificent stage.

Astier de Villatte Ceramic Figurine
given to me by my mother – 1979

*

*

a brief post script: I really wanted to have this piece completed by Christmas Eve, but it was not meant to be.  I began writing this poem back in November.  It seems I kept hitting ‘mind’ blocks.  Each time I tried to revisit the piece, a haiku was born – thus my Nutcracker haiku series.  I am not certain what, but something happened while my boys were home – creative juices, maybe?  I must say this is the longest poem I have ever written.  I hope you enjoy it.