Posts filed under ‘divorce’

what i am and not

i am not some character in a grandiose play.

i am not some object to be molded out of a lifeless piece of clay.

i am no one’s obligation


a servant on a leash.

I am myself to be.

~ SO ~

you can respect me


you can leave me ~

either way,

i am


i am meant to be.

in memory of my mom,
who never could

September 2, 2014 at 3:15 pm 23 comments

the road




his house



is a road of tears floating me home…


sky 7-27

Sunday night – July 27


July 28, 2014 at 3:22 pm 9 comments

conceal…no more


you look into my eyes


i wonder what you see.

am i the person standing in front of you


some other someone who sets you free?


please tell me who i am,


i can decide on what to do –

live with a lie each night of my life


quite simply walk away from you?




of course you will not be truthful,

because you are a coward


afraid –

that if the truth is revealed,

you will lose your rock:

your loyal domestic


risk being flayed.


the truth is

i WANT you to say it,

say what it is,

say what it is YOU feel –

because this life we are living is full of deceit


this hurt inside –

i can NO longer conceal.

rain 4-27-14

cold, rainy sunday

April 27, 2014 at 2:18 pm 15 comments




scars are so exhausting –

always present

– some big, some small –

constant reminders

of stupidity,


the how’s and why’s


the pain they have inflicted


most exhausting of all


the process of acceptance,


letting go…





The Big Island of Hawaii
along the northeast coast


February 27, 2014 at 5:30 pm 7 comments

the wife



where she stands

no breath or thought

a shiny jewel.

on her pedestal

she may not speak

his trophy

her heart –


November 7, 2013 at 5:40 pm 8 comments

a spoon and a song




with a spoon

and a tune from

a childhood long past.

words sung of memories,

by a voice deep with feeling.

its graceful curves of lean silver;

a reflection of a bride-to-be

along with hopes and dreams for her future.

an elegance reminiscent of dance

with simple lines – evoking wishes

of love and tranquility but

years passed through violent storms.

her lovely spoon still shines

in the hands of him

while he searches

for his dreams

to come



a simple spoon

Jordan brought home two items for me to wash in the dishwasher – a spoon and a water bottle.  While I was loading the dishwasher, Elvis was singing on my I-Pod.  When I took the spoon in my hand and noticed its curves, I realized it was a piece of the flatware I received for my wedding –  24 years ago.  And to make the moment even more sentimental was the song which Elvis began to sing – “Memories”.


October 14, 2013 at 3:15 pm 13 comments

behind the screen

to the one

who feels



indestructible to the world –

behind a mask,

a monitor –


nothing more.

the sounds…

of tapping…

on keys…

of a board…

creating words

which sting

sometimes injure


even destroy.

your actions are vile and cruel –


so evil;

the bully who preys on those

they see as

weak and incapable


what you are in truth

is blind and indignant

a simple COWARD who hides

behind a screen of ignorance.

June 5, 2013 at 1:57 am 25 comments

every once in a while…

every once in a while i think back on those days

& i cannot help but wonder

what it was i saw

in your face.

as i sit and reflect,

i see nothing but haze –

my memory fails me

as it gets lost in its maze.

every once in a while i think back on those days

& i cannot help but wonder

what it was i felt

in your heart.

as i sit and reflect,

i see nothing but hate –

my memory fails me

as we have succumbed to our fate.

every once in a while i think back on those days

& i cannot help but wonder

what i saw in us.

as i sit and reflect,

i see nothing but distrust –

my memory fails me

as i drown in your displaced lust.

every once in a while i think back on those days

& i cannot help but wonder

why we could not live on.

as i sit and reflect

i see nothing but pretense –

my memory fails me

as i become deaf to your silence.

not a day goes by that i do not think about them –

our bright,



beautiful young men.

as i sit and reflect i see only the love –

created by us

back in the days

when we



April 23, 2013 at 1:40 am 21 comments

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