toward ~

~

i keep swimming toward the hope of salvation

but

i feel

as though

i am sinking

toward

the depths

of

d

 e

  s

    t

      r

        u

          c

             t

                i

                   o

                       n

                            ~

                                  ~

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some contrast…

~

some

would say

i wear my darkness well

~ too well ~

in fact…

this may very well be true

but

without

‘some’

darkness for contrast ~

how will one ever see

my light shine through?

~

~

whiskey

~

he would pour himself into a shot glass

and

drink his soul away ~

away from those he loved dearly

and

the world around him

~ everyday ~

~

he would bathe his spirit in a slow, slow burn ~

allowing the heat to dissolve his pain.

he did not care to live his life ~

only

to drown himself in shame.

~

there was nothing we could have done,

except stand by him

and

reluctantly watch

ζ

and

ζ

love a man with a spirit

so broken,

so conflicted

and

so despondently

lost

~

~

enlighten me

~

your breath upon my sky

clears the gray fog

and

opens my eyes to all

that is light

and

good

and

loved

~

~

to let go

*

i need to purge these feelings

deep down inside ~

and

until i do,

they will eat me alive.

*

*

look, listen, feel

•

i look in the mirror

for

someone

i cannot see.

•

i listen

for

a voice

i cannot hear.

•

i search

for

a heart

i cannot feel.

•

i am reaching

for

the person

i used to be

~ but ~

she is nowhere to be found.

•

•

if ~ will ~ can

•

•

if you look at me, i will smile.

if you touch me, i can breathe.

if you kiss me, i will melt.

if you accept me, i can soar.

if you love me – truly love me

i will live…

…can live in peace.

•

•

her life

~

she swims in a maelstrom of emotions ~

doing her best to stay afloat

~ existing ~

~ living one day at a time ~

muddling

through

a mindless muck

of

this

and

that

~

~

fog on Lily Lake

~

trails…

.

a trail of tears

leads

to a puddle of sorrow

but

a trail of kisses

leads

to a river of dreams…

.

.

silence

~

~

i listen to the silence and weep ~

the voices which fill my heart with love and laughter

have gone

to spread their joy elsewhere.

~

i remain alone,

with a head full of bittersweet memories

and

a broken heart.

~

~