Friday Flash – Shattered

March 27, 2015 at 1:23 pm 6 comments

Felicity at The Dark Chronicles – http://felicityjohns.com/2015/03/27/friday-flash-shattered/ has a wonderful Friday prompt called Friday Flash.  This week’s challenge is called ‘Shattered’.

This is a prompt – to paraphrase Felicity – this is not of ‘word’ only, but of thoughts. It’s feeling the word you see, writing what you feel and revealing a “break” – whether the “break is mental, physical or meta-physical…the point of no return.”  When I saw Felicity’s post, I knew exactly what she meant and knew I had written a piece which, in my humble opinion, describes all of the above.  Incidentally, it is the first poem I ever wrote (not counting high school) and posted on WordPress.

 ~ Numb ~

I want to feel numb – feel nothing.

Feel no love – when it goes away, I do not have to feel so bad.

Feel no hate.

Feel no guilt – for feeling no love or hate.

Feel no hurt or pain – just a nothing existence.

Numb – be dead.  No feelings of anything, just nothingness.

 

A brief explanation:

This piece was originally written in October of 2010.  I shortly, thereafter, revised it as a result of a derogatory comment made by the person who encouraged me to start blogging in the first place.  As a result of his comments (he was not Bill), I buckled under the pressure and lightened it up a bit. I was uncomfortable with this decision, so I posted it – again – word for original word in March 2012 – this being four days before Bill passed away.  What came next was a nightmare I could never have foreseen.  A long story made short:  when I found Bill’s lifeless body, I went into shock.  My neighbor, who had read this piece online and understood my emotional state at the time, was worried for my physical well-being and I was sent, against my will, to the hospital and kept for the day, under ‘supervision’.  I will continue no further on this matter, except to say I had never felt so blindsided, violated, helpless, humiliated, scared, distraught and completely – totally – alone in all of my life.

I did re-post this one more time in February of 2013, after I began writing again.  It was also a few weeks before what was an extremely difficult one year anniversary of Bill’s passing and I had fallen as emotionally low as a person could go.

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Entry filed under: feelings, human nature, life, Personal, poetry, ponderings, thoughts, writing prompt. Tags: , , , , , .

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6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Felicity  |  March 27, 2015 at 11:47 pm

    Wow. It’s beautiful, and perfect, and knowing the story behind it only makes it all the more poignant. Thank you for having the strength to share it again. Hugs. 🙂

    Reply
    • 2. words4jp  |  March 27, 2015 at 11:50 pm

      Thank you when I read your prompt I knew it was perfect. For me, anyway. This piece has now been posted 4 times on this blog. Oy. 😌

      Reply
      • 3. Felicity  |  March 27, 2015 at 11:51 pm

        There is nothing wrong with that! 🙂

  • 4. words4jp  |  March 28, 2015 at 12:20 am

    Reblogged this on Beasts of Articulation.

    Reply
  • 5. hitandrun1964  |  March 28, 2015 at 3:54 am

    Your feelings are perfectly understandable. You just had truly HORRIBLE people around you (I won’t say friends, because friends don’t do that to people) I hope you never spoke to them again…EVER. Your poem is spot on and wonderful. I understand it completely.

    Reply
    • 6. words4jp  |  March 28, 2015 at 4:50 pm

      No, I never did. xxx

      Reply

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