judgement

September 12, 2014 at 5:00 pm 31 comments

feelings sliced across my flesh

leaving regret for my eyes to see

revealing a picture for others

to judge and condemn

photo(2)

a dark but beautiful sky

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Entry filed under: depression, feelings, life, loneliness, Personal, poetry, ponderings, Relationships, thoughts, writing. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

If – a story a kaleidoscope

31 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Yoshiko  |  September 12, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Awaiting the storm

    Reply
  • 2. findingmyinnercourage  |  September 12, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    I absolutely LOVE everything you write. I look forward to the next writing.

    Reply
  • 3. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    Pretty rough eh!?

    Reply
    • 4. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 8:38 pm

      Yes, in many ways it is. 🙂

      Reply
      • 5. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 8:55 pm

        Drama drama

      • 6. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 9:02 pm

        Yes, and I hate it. With each cut I hate it more.

      • 7. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 9:07 pm

        What do you want to do about it?

      • 8. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 9:10 pm

        I would like to disappear.

      • 9. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 9:49 pm

        Oh, go on love. Can’t keep mowing the grass like that. You’ll bungle-up the roots! Why don’t you APPEAR more like?

      • 10. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:00 pm

        Appear more like what?

      • 11. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:07 pm

        Like yourself.

      • 12. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:10 pm

        Well, I am sorry to disappoint but who I am on my blog is me. Unfiltered. Unmasked. Me.

      • 13. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:11 pm

        Ok, be like that then. Hermetic! Sometimes you try to help and may as well not bother getting frustrated. Pointless.

  • 14. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Why do you want to disappear?!

    Reply
    • 15. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:18 pm

      I have reasons. No one will understand them.

      I admit I am hermetic. I wish I could let go….I have never been able to. This blog has been my way to communicate. Say what I think or what I feel, without being afraid of being judged. Letting out the ‘stuff’ which festers inside – in others words, a hermetic trying to let go.

      Reply
      • 16. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:23 pm

        OK then. I just thought you had another side of you. That you did in fact know very well how to let go. Where did that go?

      • 17. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:28 pm

        That would be the person in my head. She can let go.

      • 18. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:32 pm

        Have you tried herbal remedies?

      • 19. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:34 pm

        I am allergic to a lot of herbs. If I wasn’t, what would you recommend?

      • 20. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:39 pm

        Salvia ( 30X), it’s legal and available from smoke shops. Smoke in a pipe. Be a bit aware that the first time you take it you are almost guaranteed a slightly odd trip; I got attacked by the letter ‘M’, for example, and thought I was in a bus rather than a car, and had to pretend to be Jimi Hendrix to release it, to stop being glued by the letter ‘M’.
        Generally it makes you vividly aware of dark spirit stuff; but then also heals it with subsequent intakes. Inverse tolerance. So after the first hit it does help.

      • 21. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:43 pm

        Sounds kinda interesting. The letter M?

      • 22. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:50 pm

        Well yes, I was in a car, not driving and parked in front of a pub in Sacramento. My friend next to me; since we’d got 10x before and it did strictly nothing, we bought the most potent 50x; and I guinea-pigged it with an enthusiastic amount. Then when the car transformed into a bus somewhere in South America and lots of people laughing, and we had Artic Monkeys playing, and I’m sure that didn’t help and that they are derisive of Salvia smokers (antagonistic), I asked Rick to please not leave me. He said “Don’t worry brother, I’m right here, I ain’t going’nowhere”, and then a huge belt shaped like the letter ‘M’ pinned me into my seat, and all my muscles froze; so I tried to turn the music off and literally it took me 10 Hectokilos of will to reach the knob. Then I thought about what I could do to release it, even though the trip lasts about 2 minutes it feels like hours and unending, and found that the reasonable thing to do was my best Jimi Hendrix impression, since he was a Voodoo Chile you know.

      • 23. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:54 pm

        I would have enjoyed watching this experience – from the outside:)

      • 24. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:55 pm

        Well, maybe we should try this together some time.

      • 25. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:57 pm

        That is funny;) you made me laugh.

      • 26. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:58 pm

        Good. Mostly life is not that serious and I think there are a lot of things we can jump over with a bit of help.

      • 27. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 11:00 pm

        I agree.

  • 28. ectoplasmofthesoul  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    The stuff I took was 50x actually, but since you may be slighter than me I thought perhaps 30x.

    Reply
    • 29. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 10:46 pm

      I am 110lbs. I may end up seeing the entire alphabet:)

      Reply
  • 30. Chatty Owl  |  September 13, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    A powerful acknowledgment.

    Reply
    • 31. words4jp  |  September 15, 2014 at 11:52 am

      Yes, I have done just that. I think some may know what it is and some may not. but I do and I guess that is all that matters. xx

      Reply

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