what purpose…for whom…why?

September 10, 2014 at 4:32 pm 13 comments

~

i know there is a purpose to a heart beat

yet

i struggle in knowing what it feels to be alive.

~

i seem driven to destroy ~ all that i am

for

reasons i do not know or fully comprehend.

~

am i so desperate in wanting

something ~

something i have lost all faith in believing

truly exists?

or

do i really

wish to be swallowed ~

by a

dominating darkness

which dwells

deep

within?

~

~

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Entry filed under: answers, depression, feelings, human nature, life, mental health, Personal, poetry, prose, questions, Relationships, thoughts, writing. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

Wee Words Wednesday – a loaded question If – a story

13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mark Baron  |  September 10, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    I have been there too, my friend –
    Felt darkness swell beneath my breast
    And feared that it would never end,
    That no light shown could dare impress
    upon the shades within my heart…
    Ha…how funny life can be,
    For what, pray tell, could tear apart
    That darkness, where I could not see
    A path back to the joy in life?
    Death, her boney, looming hand
    That hovered like a teetering knife
    suspended by the thinnest strand
    Above my child, who could not flee.
    Yet in his struggle against her form
    I found the light inside of me
    For he still smiled, snuggled, warm,
    Reminding me that if he could
    When threatened thus, still bear a smile
    Then nothing I faced really should
    Keep me in darkness for that while.
    And thus, in his sweet smiling face
    I found my light, and his embrace.

    Reply
    • 2. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 1:36 am

      I apologize for being so late in responding – I find myself thinking things I shouldn’t. I have this tendency of break apart. One part is falling to pieces and the other is just watching. And these two people are triggered by the slightest of things. This did not use to be the case. Now it is. And this is where I am right now. The trigger? Stepping out of my box. I should never have.

      Reply
  • 3. Dom DiFrancesco  |  September 10, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    Wow, such deep sadness and pain expressed in these words. I hope that one day this will pass. 😦

    Reply
  • 5. John W. Howell  |  September 10, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    No, you don’t want to be swallowed. There are too many of us who would miss you.

    Reply
    • 6. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 1:26 am

      You are so sweet. I am trying very hard to make myself unswallowable. (Probably not a word, but you know me, I like inventing them;)

      Reply
      • 7. John W. Howell  |  September 12, 2014 at 12:47 pm

        How about 99% swallowable free?

  • 8. dixwax  |  September 10, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    Beautiful, both. Let there be light.

    Reply
  • 9. Yoshiko  |  September 10, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    It is the pain of darkness

    Reply
    • 10. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 1:25 am

      It is. xxx

      Reply
  • 11. syl65  |  September 11, 2014 at 2:10 am

    Hope you don’t get swallowed up by the darkness, but engulfed by the light Kim.

    Reply
    • 12. words4jp  |  September 12, 2014 at 1:24 am

      I am trying;) thank you for your lovely words. They are greatly appreciated.

      Reply
      • 13. syl65  |  September 12, 2014 at 1:41 am

        You’re welcome Kim 🙂 Thank you for being here….

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