anyway

May 18, 2014 at 3:55 pm 6 comments

alone amongst all so many,

she cries in the middle of the night.

invisibility has taken its toll –

it is slowly tearing her up inside.

a part of her believes it is well deserved –

choices made throughout the years,

along with ensuing baggage being dragged behind

and

a flooding trail of tears.

“maybe it will get better someday” – her voice inside explains,

but

she knows better –

“there is no such thing,

i am nothing

worth wanting –

anyway.”

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Entry filed under: depression, feelings, life, loneliness, love, Personal, poetry, prose, reflections, Relationships, thoughts, writing. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

go all out a rainbow

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ~*La Velata*~  |  May 18, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    this is painfully beautiful, it could have been ripped out of me, from that part I don’t like to admit is still there, even while I work to change it. Eh, I could write too much here and take up too much space on your comments. Thank you for this lovely piece.

    Reply
    • 2. words4jp  |  May 18, 2014 at 6:03 pm

      You can always take as much space as you would like. I enjoy what you have to say. I find myself wondering sometimes if I am the only one who feels the way I do – I know that sounds totally silly and totally self-absorbed, but I still think that way. I write in a lot of metaphors, due to the fact that I cannot come right out and say what it is I am thinking or doing – yes a chicken sh*t. With that said, when someone says that they understand or say that I have spoken their mind/ heart, it is strangely comforting. Believe me, I do not want anyone feeling like I do, but knowing that some feel the way i do and struggle the way I do is comforting.

      Reply
  • 3. WB  |  May 18, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    A great deal of depth, as well as more than the eyes can read. Great work.

    Reply
    • 4. words4jp  |  May 18, 2014 at 7:10 pm

      You are observant. Yes, there is more there than what the eyes may perceive. Thank you for lovely comment.

      Reply
  • 5. Blog It Or Lose It  |  May 19, 2014 at 10:03 pm

    It is beautifully written my dear — but the next time the voices say you’re “not worth wanting”, you tell them they’re full of bull crap. Okay? We all make wrong turns, bad decisions, and so forth … I have made more than my share and battle with these feelings of worthlessness too. But these errors don’t define us or make us “unworthy”.

    [HUG!]
    [[ANOTHER HUG]]

    Reply
  • 6. Kirsten  |  May 20, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    I am with Jen on this one, K! They are full of BS! You are worthy of love and you deserve love. You have such a kind, gentle heart. Triple Hugs on this one!

    Reply

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