the constant chatter

February 17, 2014 at 7:58 pm 13 comments

each morning light brings fear and sadness

I wish I could hide from the world.

but life awaits, so it takes all i have to push on, move forward.

I must go to work – I have no other choice – people depend on me.

as i walk through the door, the mask is slipped on and a smile painted on my face.

I can NEVER let them see how I feel.

the day drags along and i am fighting back tears,

I want to hide under my desk.  I want so much to disappear.

while those around me are mingling and laughing – sharing pleasantries and smiles.

I cannot stop looking at the clock.

i wait desperately for the workday to be over.

I have come to the end of my rope.

as i leave the office, i fake one more smile.

I need to get out of here – NOW.

while getting in the car, the tears begin to fall.

I have to get home.

a feeling of calm returns as i pull into the driveway.

I am finally home.  I am finally alone.

i tear the clothes off of my body, sit in the shower and cry.

No one can hear my pain.

many minutes later

i get dressed,

fall into bed,

pull the covers over my head.

  No one can see my pain.

i do not want to think,

i do not want to speak,

i want to be numb,

feel nothing.

This world would be better without me.


somewhere, someplace

there is a voice

drawing me near –


I can feel



holding tight –

not letting go.

some kind of force –

calming my nerves,

clearing my head.

I am exhausted,

I just want to sleep,

if only for a little while.


I will try.


i will try.

this is dedicated to those who suffer depression


their dogged determination to

  ‘push on’ day after day.

Entry filed under: depression, family, feelings, friendship, life, mental health, Personal, poetry, ponderings, prose, thoughts. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

a scent another year

13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Green Embers  |  February 17, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    Yeah, you nailed it. Felt so real. Thanks for this! ((hugs))

    • 2. words4jp  |  February 17, 2014 at 8:12 pm

      you are welcome. i hope you are doing well Bradley – xxxx

  • 3. hitandrun1964  |  February 17, 2014 at 9:54 pm

    I hope there is an answer to this.

  • 5. Just Patty  |  February 17, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    You described it greatly Kim. Thank you for sharing.
    Lots of love and hugz ❤

    • 6. words4jp  |  February 18, 2014 at 1:19 pm

      thank you. hugs to you…..across the pond……

  • 7. Skye @ TheSanctuaryofMyHeart  |  February 18, 2014 at 12:44 am

    Thank you for describing the struggle so beautifully….Although, I would not wish this on anyone, it is good to know there are those that can relate. Much love, Dear Kimberly

    • 8. words4jp  |  February 18, 2014 at 1:16 pm

      You are so welcome. I would not wish this on anyone either, but it is one more thing that makes us special – right? 🙂

      • 9. Skye @ TheSanctuaryofMyHeart  |  February 18, 2014 at 2:14 pm

        Absolutely!! We are the ones that can lovingly come alongside those going through it and offer support, love and understanding. Love sent to you!! 🙂

  • 10. frombeingable  |  February 23, 2014 at 10:20 pm

    beautifully said.

    • 11. words4jp  |  February 24, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      thank you – how are you? It is a wonderful surprise to see your beautiful gravatar pop up:)

      • 12. frombeingable  |  February 25, 2014 at 2:17 pm

        thank you. i’ve been up and down, but luckily my school work has helped me a lot–when i’ve been able to concentrate. but at least i’m still here. 🙂

  • 13. BECAUSE GIRLS ARE COOL – KIMBERLY | Hastywords  |  May 24, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    […] The Constant Chatter […]


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