i still

October 26, 2013 at 7:03 pm 14 comments


sometimes i feel so lost


i think about you and

you are not here


i miss you


i get angry because i allow the pain to hurt  –

it’s grip is still so strong


i still feel it


when i do

i wish i could just die


i still feel your death

like it was yesterday


i miss you


i still miss you so very much




Entry filed under: death, depression, feelings, grief, loss, Personal. Tags: , , , , , , .

my desk shadows

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. b for beyad  |  October 26, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    Beautiful writing!

    • 2. words4jp  |  October 26, 2013 at 8:13 pm

      thank you very much.

  • 3. psychologypathology  |  October 26, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    let go. you can’t cling-on to a dream. let life invade you. we were made to go on, not fester. be yourself and I’ll be you

    • 4. words4jp  |  October 26, 2013 at 8:13 pm

      i try – i have these moments where i just miss him. i know – my head knows – he is gone and is never coming back, but my heart feels like he is not gone forever. He will return. i am better than i was but when these moments pass, i fall hard each time.

      • 5. psychologypathology  |  October 26, 2013 at 8:17 pm

        you crossed paths, like star-crossed lovers. how much understanding the crashing brings, the dilution of star-energy mixed in the mud. well. come on. you can’t just go up to him. he won’t come to you. so maybe the cat will bring it in… let’s hope

  • 6. MichelleMarie Antell  |  October 26, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    Don’t let go. Feel your feelings and express them and with the passing of time your heart will mend and you will miss in a different way. I feel the same way all of a sudden a missing comes over you and you feel the loss and void. But you still love and move and them maybe one day we will look back and see how far we have come. You can’t force letting go you have to feel it and express it and then you feel a sense of release with each expression!

    • 7. words4jp  |  October 26, 2013 at 9:30 pm

      wow – you understand exactly how it is i feel. exactly. thank you for your very kind words.

  • 8. Pamela Beckford  |  October 26, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    My heart breaks for you

  • 9. Svelte  |  October 26, 2013 at 9:14 pm

    It’s a process to which there are no shortcuts. Feel what you feel K, in the midst of it all, you are indeed getting stronger, closer to ‘better’. x

  • 10. justme792  |  October 26, 2013 at 9:46 pm

    This is so sad and yet so beautiful! Big hug!

  • 11. acuriousgal  |  October 26, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    I’m so sorry for your pain!!

  • 12. ladysighs  |  October 27, 2013 at 9:25 pm

    If we didn’t feel the pain of life, we probably couldn’t feel the joy either.

    • 13. words4jp  |  October 28, 2013 at 10:10 am

      I do agree. 😉

  • 14. unlovingyou  |  October 30, 2013 at 1:48 am

    beautiful. big hugs to you xo


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